The Importance
of Family
cautionary lessons
Growing
Up with Parents who have Learning Difficulties underscores three crucial
aspects of the role of the family in helping children overcome
the disadvantages of their childhood and establish a berth in
the adult world.
First, family ties
can nurture resilience in children. A key protective factor known
to shield children from a disadvantaged upbringing is a positive
attachment to at least one adult apart from their parents who
shows them unconditional acceptance. Such supportive relationships
are most often found within the extended family.
Second, family supports
may compensate for a lack of competence on the part of the parents
in order to ensure satisfactory care for the child. A key source
of such supports is the extended family. These ties need to be
reinforced, not undermined or displaced, by professional intervention.
Third, adults need
parents too. For most of the now-adult children with learning
difficulties in the study, their relationship with their mother
and/or father provided the only close, secure and continuing
emotional bond in their lives. Even for those without learning
difficulties, this relationship lay at the heart of their adult
identity. For children born into families who need a lot of support
it is tempting to invent a future in which they would be better
off away from their parents. Looking back from their position
in the adult world it is equally possible to see the harm that
can be done by too readily jumping to any such conclusion. The
question of what is in the best interests of the child always
invites a response in the future tense. The true answer often
appears very different in hindsight.
 Growing Up with Parents
who have Learning Difficulties, Routledge, London, 1998.
|
